Success

Shortly after moving home to Tupelo in the fall of 2005, I was asked to join a women’s leadership class, called “Success Skills”. I wasn’t thrilled because I had been through leadership classes before. I didn’t have time to do a project and my mind was so focused on my own life, I really couldn’t see putting much time and effort into anything else. I did think, however, that it would be good for me to meet some new women in Tupelo. I had been away from Tupelo for many years, and much had changed. The class ended up being one of the best experiences of my life. It really was much like a personal inventory journey, through the skills learned and the exercises we did I realized that more than anything else, I wanted to rely on God to lead my life. A few months ago I was reviewing the workbook from this class. I was stunned when I read one of the pages. We were asked the question. “If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?” Our teacher had encouraged us to really reach on this one. To put something down that we wanted more than anything, even if we didn’t think it was possible. To my surprise, I answered the question very simply. “To have my family restored.” Now this was during one of the darkest phases of my life. Joey was in rehab in Dallas. I was living with my mother and raising an infant and a 2-year-old alone. I didn’t see much way that this was possible, but it is truly what I wanted more than anything. God was working on me even then. He already knew.
I learned many things about myself during the class. One of the things is that my primary motivators are respect, attention, appreciation and approval from my peers. Another is to rise to a challenge. At the end of the class, this broken soul was chosen by the other class members to be the keynote speaker at our “graduation”. Their selection of me as the keynote speaker certainly fit into both of these. While I was extremely humbled by their faith in me, I was also motivated to share some things with the audience that would make them proud of their choice.

The following is an excerpt from my speech that day:
As a true woman of the South, I love three things – my Lord, my family, and college football. I believe we can learn much from all three.

In Isaiah 40:31, The Bible says: “For those who wait on the Lord will mount up with wings as eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint”. I want to share just a minute or two with you about eagles. God says in His Word that if we wait on Him, we will be like eagles. What does that mean? An eagle is strong, bold, and swift. He is a devoted parent and mate. In order to fly, he does not flap his wings. Instead, he waits on a high rock, for just the right thermal current. Then, he spreads his enormous wings and soars! He waits for God’s timing, because then with very little effort or energy on his part, he can soar high above the earth. He can do this most effectively in the midst of a storm. My challenge to you today and always is to Be An Eagle!

College football is an excellent study of teamwork. Few places can you go and find 11 people working together at the same time to achieve a common goal. One of my favorite football coaches is the former Notre Dame legend, Lou Holtz. I heard him give a motivational speech one time and in it he was talking about how goals worth having take time, but with persistence you can achieve anything. One of the quotes he used, and I don’t know if it is originally his or not is “We’re not where we ought to be; We’re not where we want to be; We’re not where we’re going to be; But we’re not where we used to be”. While the women in this room were none too shabby to begin with, none is where she used to be thanks to this class.

Last week, Rubye Del spoke to us of roads. She said that she hoped each of us had gained some clarity about which road we want to be on. She challenged us to stay on that road and most importantly to stay out of the ditches. I had already been told that I would be giving today’s address, and when she said this, one thing immediately popped into my head that I wanted to share with you. I believe we all have much to learn from children and I learn a lot by the books I read to my sons. One of their favorites has also become one of mine. It is entitled “Oh, the Places You’ll Go”, by Dr. Seuss.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!by the incomparable Dr. Seuss
Congratulations!Today is your day.You’re off to Great Places!You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.You have feet in your shoes.You can steer yourself any direction you choose.You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
You’ll be on your way up!You’ll be seeing great sights!You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t.Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you!Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?Yes! You will, indeed!(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
Kid, you’ll move mountains!So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!Today is your day!Your mountain is waiting.So…get on your way!

Last week I had the opportunity to attend a fundraiser where Pam Tebow, mother of Heisman Trophy winner and University of Florida standout football player Tim Tebow, spoke. She is a tireless pro-life advocate and truly shares a message of life through her own story. At one point she made reference to the "God prints" we all have on our lives. It made me think of my own two sons. While I am thankful for them every day, for some reason on this night it struck me that but for God's grace and mercy, neither of them would be here today. I have already shared the struggles that my oldest son, JT encountered at birth. The story of my second son, Jimmie, is just as amazing - if not as dramatic. Shortly after we moved to Jackson, MS I discovered I was pregnant with our second child. JT was not even two years old, and this was not planned. I was excited, but also fearful since we had had such a hard time with JT. It was not an opportune time for a pregnancy in our lives, but we were both excited. When we went for our first appointment with the doctor, however, we learned that something was wrong. The doctor told us that this was not a viable pregnancy, and that I would most likely mis-carry the baby over the next day or so. He encouraged me to go home and take it easy for a couple of days and come back to see him. When I did, he confirmed that I had in fact had a miscarriage and that a DNC would be necessary. I was 40 years old, had given birth to a premature baby and had now mis-carried a child. He asked if I would like for him to tie my tubes when he went in to do the DNC. Joey and I talked about it and felt that this was the best thing to do. When I went in the following morning for the procedure, the doctor informed me that my insurance refused to pay for me to have my tubes tied. I worked for a Catholic hospital system at the time, and my insurance was through them. This went against their beliefs, and so they would not agree to pay. I was frustrated, but there was nothing I could do. In sharing about this a few days later with a friend, she reminded me that God had a plan and that she believed God intended for me to have another child. I assured her that this was indeed not God's plan. We laughed about it, but she told me that she was going to pray that I had another child. About a year later, my life was in shambles. Joey had just told me that he was addicted to crack cocaine and our lives in general were just a mess. When I discovered I was pregnant again, I couldn't believe it! I was furious with God. "How in this world could you think this was a good idea?" I asked. I didn't tell anyone for a week or so. I was just certain that there had been some sort of mistake, and that maybe it would just go away - that it was a terrible dream. Finally, I called my doctor and told him that I was pregnant and that I was NOT going to have this baby. I told him that I knew abortion was wrong, but that I didn't care. There was no way I could deal with a two year old baby and a drug addict husband on top of an infant. I will be forever grateful for his very calm and understanding response. He told me to just come in and talk with him. He reminded me that my chances of being pregnant were not very high in the first place, and to just come into the office, let him run a few tests and see where we were. When I arrived at his office, I reminded him again of all that was going on in my life and that I did not need him to talk me out of this decision - that I could not and would not give birth to this child. I knew that my doctor was a Christian so I don't know why I was surprised that he knew exactly what to do. Even though it was still very early in the pregnancy, he did a sonogram. As soon as I saw the little butter bean that would be my son, my heart melted. I began to cry when I even thought that I could have done anything to harm him. I didn't know how I was going to do it, and I still didn't know what God's plan was, but I knew this was my child and that I loved him. I went straight home and called my friend that had been praying that I would have another child. "I hope you're happy", I told her. "Your prayers have been answered!" Our lives got much worse during the course of my pregnancy. Joey went into a residential treatment facility, then came out and relapsed within a month. He was with me when Jimmie was born, but disappeared almost immediately following his birth and was gone for several days. I knew that I was going to raise my boys alone, and although I wasn't sure how - I knew God would get me through it. It is so hard for me to imagine those days now. God is so much greater than anything we can hope or imagine and His plans truly are perfect. My precious Jimmie is four years old now. His dimpled cheeks and bright blue eyes light up our lives every day, and we are so thankful that he is ours!
I thank God every day for my boys - all three of them. I thank Him for the wonder that they are and the miracle that each one is in my life.