It's funny how lack of communication can do so much damage. In June of 2004, I thought things in our lives were better than they had been in a long time. Joey had a job. He was selling cars for a local dealer in Jackson. Our one-year-old son was thriving and loving life in Jackson. We had become pretty active in our church, etc. We were living in a small apartment, but had rented a much larger house and had plans to move in over the weekend of our anniversary. The day of our third anniversary started pretty well I thought. I later learned that Joey didn't see it that way. We exchanged cards and made plans to eat sort of a pic-nic dinner at our new house before moving the next day. Joey's car was in the shop for repairs, so we took JT to daycare and he dropped me off at work. At the end of the day, my niece took me to get my car from him and pick up JT, and we discovered that he hadn't been at work all day. Needless to say, I panicked. When I got home, I found that he had taken most of his clothes and left. A mutual friend called and said that my car was at her house, but she didn't know how it got there. I didn't know how he had left, or with whom, but I knew it was of his own free will. Kidnappers hardly ever let you stop off for clothes and a toothbrush. I was in a fog. My sister offered for us to come and stay at her house for the night, but I just wanted to be in my home with my child.
JT was small enough not to know what was going on, so after feeding and bathing him, he went straight to sleep. I couldn't take it anymore. I literally fell face down on the floor of my bedroom and cried out to God. On the floor that night, I gave Joey to him. I finally surrendered my control and let God have him. When I got up, I went in and kissed my son, then returned to my bed and SLEPT!!!! I SLEPT!!!! If that's not a miracle of peace and comfort, I don't know what is.
The next day presented a whole new set of challenges. My mother was driving down to keep JT and help us with our move. When she arrived, she already knew what had happened and was a pillar of strength as usual. Our first stop was to go and see my current landlord to see if I could just renew my lease and stay in the apartment. Unfortunatley, they had already rented the apartment and I would have to be out by Sunday. Our next stop was to my new landlord. Without Joey's income, there was no way that I could afford the new house. Thankfully, he was a Christian man and upon hearing my story not only let me out of my lease, but refunded both the deposit and first month's rent that I had already paid him. Things seemed to be just falling into place. Next, we went about searching for a new place for JT and me to live. We must have looked at twenty or so apartments, condos and houses. A few were OK, but nothing was really what I was looking for. Finally, I called about a house that was listed in the paper with very few details. When the owner called us back, it sounded too good to be true. We drove by and found that this was a wonderful little bungalow, built in one of the nicest neighborhoods in Jackson, surrounded by million dollar mansions. The rent was affordable and and when I looked into the back yard, there was a tree with a strong limb just perfect for JT's swing that he loved so much. With tears in my eyes, I thanked God and signed the lease on the spot.
We already had a moving truck rented for the next day, but I had no one to help me move. I called a realtor friend, and asked if she knew anyone I could get to come the next day and help me move. She said that her housekeeper's boyfriend was at her house, and she would ask him. He was available, and said he would try to find a friend to come and help him. The next morning, he showed up, but was unable to find any help. I didn't know how we were going to manage this move, but this very large man that I had never met, just put his arm around me and said "We're going to do this together, one piece at a time. When you get tired, we'll stop. I can't explain it, other than to say that God had brought me this far by giving me emotional strength. At this point, he gave me physical strength. That one kind angel and I moved every piece of my furniture from my two-story apartment into my new house. When I look back on it now, it really does seem unbelievable. The sad thing is that I don't even recall the man's name that helped me. I just know that he was truly an angel sent from God and together we had the strength of several strong men.
These three days changed my life forever. God was in control and I knew it. At every turn, he provided just what I needed. It was a wonderful feeling to know that I didn't have to worry, and eventually I did stop worrying. I had a calm and a peace in the midst of one of the greatest storms I had ever encountered. I praise Him to this day for the mighty work He did in my life that weekend.

Joey and I met while I was working as a non-profit lobbyist at the Mississippi State Capitol. He was a State Represenative at the time. It was several years before we started dating and ultimately married. I was 37 and he was 45. I had obviously waited a long time to marry, and believed I had met the man of my dreams.
While I believe we were both relatively happy, it didn't take me long to realize that married life was not what I had envisioned. It was far from the "Leave it to Beaver" household in which I grew up. We both desperately wanted children, so I thought that surely a child would solve our problems and the life I so desired would be mine.
I became pregnant about a year after we married, and had a relatively easy pregnancy. At 29 weeks, however, my water broke and I was hospitalized on complete bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. Our son was born at 34 weeks, so you do the math on how long I lay in the bed! He was pretty large for a preemie, weighing in at a whopping 4 lbs 15 oz. His lungs were not mature yet, though, and he battled premature lung disease for several weeks. He was hooked up to two ventilators, and had multiple tubes and machines attached to him. While this was going on, Joey returned to the State Legislature in Jackson, which was in Session at the time. I just thought that he couldn't deal with the stress, and I suppose that is largely true. At that time, I could justify any of the many erratic and unexplained behaviors of my husband.
I wasn't sure that our marriage could survive, but I was committed to the vows I made and committed to our son having a father. It was clear to me that despite Joey's behavior, he loved his son, and he loved me. He just didn't do a very good job of showing it, and I didn't understand why.
Joey was facing a re-election bid for this third term in the State Legislature and I was certain that his new family was the key to his re-election. It wasn't. He lost in the primary, and was devastated. With no job, and no prospects, we moved back to Jackson where I had a nice job offer. Joey's behavior and our marriage continued to deteriorate. A turning point in my life came on our third wedding anniversary, but you'll have to read next Tuesday to hear more about that.

Let's Start at the very beginning

After telling a friend and unofficial consultant a little of my story yesterday, he suggested that I actually begin a blog on my blogspot - novel idea, huh? When I told him I didn't know what to say, he said "say what you just said to me". So, here goes....
I don't feel that there is anything remarkable about my life. I grew up in a large, two-parent home in Mississippi. We experienced most of the trials that any family faces. I went to college, got a job, and worked for many years. In my late thirties I married and had two children.
About five and a half years ago, a chain of events began that altered the rest of my life. It began with the premature birth of my oldest son, and progressed through my husbands drug and alcohol addiction, the birth of our second son, the dissolution of my marriage, my husband's recovery process, and finally the restoration of our family - just to hit the high points. Even these things are not remarkable in and of themselves. The remarkable part is the role that God had, and in the amazing work that He did in our lives to restore us to the wonderful, organized chaos that we live in today.
It has been said that God never wastes a hurt, and I believe that with all my heart. I know that one of the reasons God had us go through all that we did, was so that in sharing our experiences, and how God brought us through them, we might be able to help those who are going through similar situations.